PocketWatch Romances

Archive for October, 2005

I would SWEAR that Camp Lazlo’s Camp Director Moose-guy is voiced by Jim Backus (Mr. Magoo, Mr. Howell III). I know he’s not, but the guy does a damn good job sounding like him.

I hate it when a writer describes someone as a “woman/women [whatever]“, i.e. “woman pilot”, or “women game players”.

Why do I hate it? Because it appears that the [whatever] is also a woman. To use my examples above, the pilot is piloting a woman, the players are playing a women game… As for pilots, we USED to have a word for them: aviatrix. If you don’t like that, there’s always “pilot”.

And while it’s a little bit longer (or possibly awkward), the construction of “women who play games” is faaaaar more pleasant to read than “women game players”.

I think I’m going to try that whole ’sleeping’ thing again.

(hee) Video Games Live was INCREDIBLE. So, so, SO good. Go see it if you can.

Look, I know this is asking a LOT, but really.

Either ride on the sidewalk and obey the pedestrian laws, or ride in the street and abide by vehicular laws — don’t just pick and choose.

No love, because one day I’m gonna watch one of you get killed and that will REALLY put a damper on my day and yours,

Me.

Particularly that bunch that I nearly ran into on Saturday night,

A quick refresher on How To Cross The Street:

1) Locate the CORNER of the block.

2) Stand on CORNER, facing the direction you wish to travel in. Locate the WALK/DON’T WALK signal on the OPPOSITE CORNER. If there is no walk/don’t walk signal, locate the traffic signal (red, yellow, green). If there is no signal, proceed directly to step 3.

2A) Assess the signal’s state. If the WALK sign is lit, or the signal is GREEN, then it is likely that you have the right-of-way.

2B) If the DON’T WALK sign is lit, or the signal is YELLOW or RED, you most likely do NOT have the right-of-way. STAY on the corner until you do.

Once you have the right-of-way:

3) LOOK. Both ways, twice. If there is traffic and it is moving in the direction that you wish to proceed, do so. Stay within the cross-walk. LOOK for vehicles making turns. Do NOT touch vehicles unless absolutely necessary or contact is unavoidable. Be advised that there are jerks in the world that will pull up into the cross-walk and expect you to just suck it up.

4) Arrive on the opposite CORNER safe, sound, and secure in the knowledge that you are A Good Pedestrian, making the world a better place one crossing at a time.

REMEMBER:
– NEVER cross in the middle of the block, unless you do so in a designated mid-block crossing. If you do and you get yelled at or run over, it’s your own damn fault.
– NEVER cross AGAINST THE LIGHT. If you do and you get run over, it’s your own damn fault.
– NEVER wear sheer green hose with a pair of high-cut bikini-brief-type bottoms, because it reveals to the world the really really UNFLATTERING control-top portion of the hose and besides, that color of green doesn’t complement your skin tone. Ick.

NO LOVE unless you stick to the rules of the road,

Me.

P.S. I too have been a pedestrian, so it’s not like I don’t know what I’m talking about.

An addendum to my last missive, re: curb-side parking downtown.

Seriously, curb-side parking, EXCEPT FOR deliveries/loading and the disabled should be illegal.

I DON’T CARE about revenue. I CARE about not getting killed because Joe Assface changes lanes without looking or signaling because, oops! he’s about to run his Beemer into the ass end of some Toyota that’s parked in what would otherwise be another (useful!) lane. I CARE about not getting forced into oncoming traffic because someone can’t make their right-hand turn because, well, see above and they decide they’ll just get back into traffic.

If nothing else, no street parking would also help speed up the flow of traffic through the downtown corridor, and you certainly can’t say _that_ would be a bad thing.

Stayin’ alive,

Me

Look, I know that the RFA is, like, one of _the_ worst routes to be assigned to — all of those free-loaders and irritating idiots, all the gangsta-wannabes with their huge pants and their dumb hats, the annoying guys with their CD players cranked to max so that they may as well NOT be using headphones, the homeless people with their million pounds of stuff, the slow old people, the stinky people, the just plain _weird_ people… I know. Plus, you have this damn schedule to keep, and there’s always a bunch of fuckwits that just HAVE to park their cars in the curb-side parking places that just happen to be in the bus lane… I know. I _know_.

So, I know that you’re pretty stressed, and that your job is not that easy. However… Just because -you- are stressed and because -you- have things to do and places to be does NOT give you the right to run me over! Particularly without signaling!

No love, because, dude — running me over? Not cool.

Me

Hi there!

No, over here. Yeah, on the scooter. Okay, look, you see the Washington State license plate? Right there. Yeah. That is NOT pretend. It’s not a novelty plate, and it’s not a vanity plate. It is fully endorsed and vetted by The State. Right. I paid my money for it, just like you did.

Now, look here. No, not at the library card — Yes, my driver’s license picture _does_ make me look like a zombie. But you see that? It’s an official WA State driver’s license. Yes. I paid for it, too, in time _and_ money. Just like you did.

Okay. So why do I want you to see these things? Because, just like you, I have a right to the road. I have the right to be here, in traffic, acting like a car, because guess what? The State says so. That means that they see my scooter as a real vehicle. It may look like a toy, but it isn’t.

Why should you care? Well, because. If you run me over, you will probably at least get a ticket, if not a fine and/or jail-time. (And if I should die, my estate will be suing your ass, count on it. If I don’t die, I’ll probably look into suing you myself.) Because it’s polite to treat other people on the road as if they belong there. Because if you were in my shoes/on my scooter, you’d want _me_ to pay attention and not be an asshole. Because it’s Good Karma.

So, remember: you’re not the only driver in the world, and there is nothing on EARTH that you could offer me to make me kill myself just because _you_ are in a hurry.

No love except for the people that have treated me like I belong on the road,

Me

Hi.

I’m sure you know this, but I’m going to remind you anyhow: King County has the highest local fuel taxes in the state, and quite possibly the country. That money is, theoretically, earmarked for roads and maintenence. Thirty cents a gallon times, let’s say an average of five gallons a fill-up, times (to be arbitrary about it) eight hours a day times seven days a week is… eighty-four dollars. Eighty-four dollars times four weeks times twelve months is… Four thousand thirty-two dollars a year. And that’s _only if_ you use my figures, which I pulled out of my hat (except the thirty cents part, because I know that one).

So there’s quite a bit of money that’s supposed to go for building, fixing and maintaining roads… Which brings me to my question: why the HELL can’t we _tell_ that this money is being used for that purpose? I don’t mean that I want you to provide me with a list of roads that are being built out in the middle of nowhere (or, okay, say out by Mount Si); I mean I want some real, honest answers about WHY there have been no more than nominal repairs made to 4th Avenue in my lifetime (which is more than enough time, certainly, to replace all of that craptacular concrete with good old-fashioned (or new-fashioned recycled) asphalt, which is better both economically and environmentally. Or why parts of I-5 resemble backwoods hogtrails, at least from the standpoint of both of them having nasty nasty washboards. Or why the street signs on the Alaskan Way Viaduct are so filthy they can barely be read. (I know the Viaduct itself has a LOT of problems, but those are pretty much separate from the issue at hand — in short, that’s another letter entirely.)

How about some repaving in the International District? Or half-soling in Ballard? You could at least spring for some more patches for the University District area, you cheap bastards.

No love until riding down 4th _doesn’t_ rattle my fillings,

Me.